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Get out of my head!
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Once again I find myself awake on another sleepless night. It's obviously sleepless since I'm posting this at 5am. Maybe if I jot it down, I'd go to sleep faster. Maybe. Though what I've been thinking about has put me in a huge tiff the day before yesterday. Yeah, it was the day before yesterday. Anyways, I was cooking. There was a plastic deep fryer on the stove. So I moved it a little out of the way so that the carrots could get done. So what do I do? Walk out of the kitchen. Where do I go? Into the basement to try to screw with the broken washing machine. And much to my carelessness, I ignored the strange smell because I assumed that it was coming from the motor. And I assumed it was coming from there, because it was hellishly hot and it has been running for three days on its own accord. I heard a few snaps and pops, and I immediately went upstairs to find the carrots, pot, and deep fryer on fire. The flames were high. Not to mention, there was still a bit of grease in the cooker, since it spilled over once the plastic melted and caught into the fire as well. So, once again, my brilliance kicks in, and what do I do? I try to douse it out with water. BAD MOVE. High flames, fire department. You get the gist.

(That is just a smidgen of it)Collapse )

On a side note, I was watching an episode like half an hour ago. There was an autistic boy, who walked up to a random man and called him Daddy. He thought it was for another reason, that someone was reaching out to him from the great beyond. So, he stuck with the boy to try to investigate, find out the message. Which lead to a great wake up call. It wasn't about the man, or the message, or what he was trying to find. It was about the boy needing help. The boy wanted to reach out to his family, and was unable to. So the man tried to heal him, so that the boy could actually speak more often, talk and be normal again, but the man couldn't. He was distraught. Though in the end, the family came together, and the man.. he had an epiphany.

Very, excellent show. That particular episode was moving, and bless the writers for doing their job. It was insightful, and I say that a lot, but that is the correct way to describe it. One day, I'm going to buckle down and write a book. When I do, I hope I can match up to what I've read and seen.
1st-Oct-2007 03:18 pm - Testing the cut!
So this weekend was the pits. I wound up sick for a while, and I still kinda am. I mean, my stomach is just gurgling and I have that need to vomit, but well, there you have it. My weekend in a nutshell. Did I mention that the washer broke down? So.. while I'm spending the entire weekend trying to get the water to drain out of the washer, I finally break down today and bust open a twenty dollar bill just to get some clothes washed. I used the super wash, because it was 4.50 and I didn't have to sit in that place for too long. Half an hour, tops.

I've been thinking..

God, this has to be badCollapse )

So yeah, that's pretty much what I was thinking. I'll have to get the book tomorrow to check all that stuff out and do the necessary preparations.
27th-Sep-2007 01:58 am - Getting nowhere.
This is another 2am post. Well, it just hit 2am and I swore to myself that I would hit the sack at 11pm. I get up at 6am to get the girls ready for school, and out of the house at 7am. And look at me. Four hours to sleep. But I couldn't sleep for some reason or another. I don't know. It's like, when you lay down, it takes you a simple amount of time to fall asleep, not to mention I wind up sleeping with the television on, and that doesn't help. However, its comforting. There's nothing like dreaming with the theme song to 'Roswell' playing in the background. I don't know why, I just like the way it sounds.

Right now, Family Guy is on, and by now I think I've seen every episode that man has to offer. I wonder when they're going to start blasting American Dad on C.N too. I did notice though, that even if the kids are gone, be it at school, with my mom, or my sister.. I still can't help but to watch cartoon. Unless its on a designated day. So far, its just Monday and Friday. Dr Who is the best. At first I didn't appreciate it until I sat there in one of my insomniac fits and watched it. Crappy visuals, yes. But its a brilliant show. So its forgiven.

Though, you have Heroes. Awesome. And Journeyman. Which suprised me because the ending of it was insightful. I want to see what happens next. I haven't gotten into the House or Bones kick yet. But that new New Orleans drama is pretty damn good. Lets hope Fox doesn't fuck up another one. God, then you have Prison Break, too bad it all smashes together, and I can only record one.. so I'm thinking of getting some tapes or blank DVD's to record on one tv and watch on the other. Which doesn't sound like a bad idea.

Obviously, I think too much, which is probably why I'm not sleeping. And after months and months, I still wish I had a stog to hang in between my lips while I wrote. It would make things so much easier.
26th-Sep-2007 08:21 am - Sneezing.
I just sneezed three times in a row.

It took a lot out of me.

And by goodness I want to sleep.
25th-Sep-2007 07:48 pm - Oh hell, why not.
I'm posting another public entry today. I'm not sure why, but it's just when you do things that you know you shouldn't do, it tends to grab attentions. What did I do today? Something daring and extrodinary! Something life changing! Oh my god, this girl 'dun up and went nuts!

I over ate. Exciting, ain't it?

So while the youngest was sick today and I pretty much kept her company, which I'm doing sort of right now (she told me to get away from her and to leave her hair alone), I decided to go and grab something to eat, mostly since I missed breakfast.

I love how you could just walk into the Great Moon Buffet and snag a tray, load it up and pay for the goods, then go about your merry way without a thought of who's watching you stuff your face. Instead, you can cram and pig out in the comforts of your own home with no one to look at you like.. 'Wow, you're really going to eat all that, aren't you?'

So I ate, decided I'd shelve the white rice to the kiddo and fix her up some toast with a side of ginger ale to cool her stomach, and I was full. But, the food looked so succulent that I just couldn't stop. And I really didn't. I could have had leftovers in the morning, but selfish me!

So, my sister pops by, and what does she do? Yes, she's the bane of my existance it seems. She gives me Tumbleweed. So, I ate that. Mind you, its a very huge taco salad which is rumored to be twelve-thousand calories. So, I've been nursing the taco salad for hours, sitting on my behind, gaming my life away while the kids were occupied and pretty much told me to bugger off.. and then a headache came on.

So, I decide, 'Alright, time to stop joshing around and cook.' And I did. And I ate again. So.. how do I feel now?

Like I've been hit with an anvil in two places. Namely, my gut and my head. And what really spurred this post on is one of those commercials.

"Can you give me a side of 'Too bloated and I want to sleep all day' and an extra 'Please keep your shirt on?'" I thought it was hilarious mind you, but true. So true. I'm ruined!

Anyone know how to make those second links that make your posts seem short, but yet you click on said link and it shows the entire thing? Maybe it would help with the spammage I've dealt out yesturday.
25th-Sep-2007 12:48 am - Once in a while..
Every once in a while I get enough nerves to actually post something that really has nothing to do what I've been doing.

Sadly, this time, it isn't!

Anyways, it was about Saturday. My sisters birthday. Why the fuck did I actually go out that day?

I'm not saying that I had an incredibly bad time, and it was 'great' getting away from the kids and catching up with old friends. I even told one of them that I might wind up going 'Coochie coochie coo!' To a really cute guy if I was drunk enough. It reminded me of that commercial.. everyone knows. A woman talking to her husband in baby speak, but yet, he takes her out to an opera and she's an English major. That was awesome, and it totally described me that night.

Wait. Rewind.

The twenty first was Serenity's birthday. And it was awesome. And I was dumbstruck. This is why. Tory came to visit, I haven't seen him in a while and apparently he's getting fat in his old age. He's only twenty seven, but still. He's getting stalky. Like a gorilla. And he's balding. That's bad. However, his son is hella cute, and so adorable, and talkative. Reminded me of Leila. So we all sat down, talked, ate wings and birthday cake even though it was early, and he hit the road. From then on, it was smooth sailing.

Nary a fight from the terrible offspring, only laughter, good fun. I watched cartoons with them, and strangely enough, the birthday girl went to sleep without a fuss. I was truly shocked. Soon after, the youngest fell prey to the sleep bug. Even though the girl didn't get what she wanted for her birthday, she got what she needed. More clothes. Soon as she hits the fifth grade, she'll be taller than me, I just know it.

Now lets get to the bad twenty-second. The day went slow as fuck, and I mostly sat around and combed Serenity's hair. Leila, she was happy with her pigtails, though the eldest wanted beads.. she got it. Half done, and it looks totally awesome. In a retro kind of way, anyways. Time passed, and passed, and passed.. we ate dinner. Chatted, and then it was time for me to get dressed to go to her party down at the bar.

First problem, was me letting her boyfriend use my car. He didn't put gas in it, and I was on E. So I stopped, filled her up, went on down.

Second problem. I couldn't see for shit. And since I'm blind as a bat, my glasses had to be ordered and custom made, thankfully I have decent insurance. Anyways, I couldn't see! So I took a wrong turn, and wound up on a street filled with construction and fucked up barrel placement. (North Ave, for the Milwaukee friends.)

Third problem. I got there, and I was hideously.. bored. I knew people, but I just didn't want to be bothered. Though, I had a beer or two and then I was chatting it up with the rest of the folks. Though when people found out that I was the elusive child of the Owner of the bar, all hell broke loose.

I was grabbed, pulled this way, pulled that way. Introduced, compared to my sister, asked if we were twins, which we are not. Though, it was hilarious. However, I didn't appreciate being grabbed, and I let them know that. In a firm way.

(Actually, I blurted out.. 'Get yer goddamned hands off of me', which actually confirmed me being my fathers daughter. Who knew?)

So I stopped and talked with my old high school friend and her husband (I signed the marriage certificate, yay!), then I went to linger on a bit more. The night waned on, full of me laughing and nodding, not giving a shit, and my sister just tossing drinks in my face left.. and right. Cranberry & Gin, Gin and OJ, straight gin. Tequilla cream (strawberry) and MGD. All in all, I topped out at 15 drinks and I couldn't keep my back straight in the damn stool I was sitting on.

Two o'clock rolled around, and it was time to go home. And I regretted not asking someone I knew to come with me, because I had to drive my way home. So, I asked my sister for some change, just in case I had to stop and say that I'm checking into a hotel, or sleeping in the car. And I left before the traffic became too thick with people flooring it to another bar.

The drive, was horrible. I'm never doing that again. I had to roll down all windows, blast the music to the point my ears rang, and pull over to every gas station I saw just to take a quick walk. And the walks.. lets just say that I was making a crooked circle eight and looking damn retarded. But it was needed. By then, my bladder was about the burst and I decided to floor it home before I got pulled over and sent to jail, or in a major accident.

This is where things get frightening, and how I have a suicidal curiousity. Not so much that I -am- suicidal, but I had that urge just to smack into a car to see if that would wake me up. And I almost -did-. So you have me, seeing a nicely parked car. And the car itself, was beautiful. Expensive. I think it was a decorated Impala, old style. Anyways, I looked.. slowed down just a little, and started to aim my car in that direction. Once I realized what the hell I was doing, I straightened up and kept going. At every stop light, I leaned my head back, and I actually heard myself snore. Now I know how my mom feels when she's up for 24 hours and is heading home from work in the morning.

So a few stop lights later, I made a crooked turn towards my neighborhood, and started to go extremely slow. My sister had an accident around the corner and fucked up her rental car. No sense in me doing that to mine, right? By the time I inched into the parking spot, I was literally falling out of the car and dragging myself upon my hands and knees towards the door. Soon as I got in, I went straight for the bathroom.

No, I won't talk about my habits, but lets just say I didn't get out of there after twenty minutes because I was busy hurling out the liquor. (Self induced vomiting, of course. Yes, it was that bad. No, I don't drink on a daily basis. Usually, I drink when I'm out with my sister, which is rare. I barely go out to bars, or clubs. Maybe once or twice in a year.)

Finally I managed to gather myself, wash my face, gargle and brush my teeth, then gathered my kids up from their little camp they made on the floor. Told my mom that I was going to bed, dropped the kids into MY bed, and went and slept in their room.

How I fucked that up, I'm not sure. I know they were supposed to go into their room, not mine. Anyways.. I laid on their bed, shoes and all.. and passed out into a dizzying sleep.

The morning after.. I was nauseated. Getting up was a pain, and it felt like I was still drunk, and I probably was. The water didn't help any, it made things worse. And I actually went right back to bed.

Why am I writing this all down? Mainly because that night was a pure mistake. No, I didn't go out and screw some random guy who I wouldn't remember in the morning. No, I didn't get into a drunken bar brawl, though I was in the right when I actually yelled at someone for grabbing me the way they did without notice nor reason. No, I wasn't completely out of it.. well, I was. But I managed to keep sane through it all. And I remembered.. everything.

So, to those drunken fools who say that they didn't know what they were doing, I believe its all a lie. Scape goat. However.. I do feel ashamed for actually letting myself go that far, without having someone else drive me home who hadn't touch a drink. It was frightening. That was the extent of my dare devilism, and this is a reminder for me to never.. ever.. do this again. Well, I may. But I'm definately not driving nor getting in a car with someone who's been drinking. Who knows what runs through their minds, anyhow.

So, that was my weekend in a nutshell. Don't I have a great life?
20th-Dec-2006 09:18 am - Holy shit pt 2!!
Alright, I'm sure that I'm going to get a 'no shit!!' reply on this. But I lead a very sheltered life. I barely listen to normal music that a supposed girl like me does, and most of the time I'm at home boring myself to death watching CNN and MSNBC. Don't ask why, please god. Don't. Today, I decided to make a change. Took the youngin out to get some hotcakes and sandwiches from McDonalds, of course, breakfast sandwiches, came back home.. felt a little random. No cartoons today, no sir'ee. Pure music videos, at least to get caught up. And guess what the fuck I saw?! 30 Seconds To Mars of course! I mean, Okay. I heard their song on the radio, map of the world or what have you, and I liked it! BUT.. I never knew what they really looked like. This is where it blew my mind.

Here's a video. (Just click on the goddamned link.)

30 seconds to mars-from yesterday
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And then! Here's this guy!

Okay, if it doesn't show, I'll load it. Guess who that is?! Jared Leto. Other than me having a really, really bad soft spot for Jared Leto, he sounds like -that-?! *Insertfawnishwordshere!* Clearly I've established that I should have known that a long goddamned time ago, and that I need to get out more. Yeah yeah, bite my ass.

Okay. I'm bored. Bye now!
15th-Dec-2006 04:10 pm - Hell yes!
Which celebrity are you most likely to have sex with?
Your Result: The Rock

You like your men to be attractive but you also want them to be able to kick some ass. You like the big, strong, athletic types with that chisled look.

Keira Knightley
Nick Lachey
Jennifer Anniston
Matthew McConaughey
Gwen Stefani
Tommy Lee
Pamela Anderson
Which celebrity are you most likely to have sex with?
15th-Dec-2006 04:09 pm - I'm gay
Are You Gay, Bi, or Straight?
Your Result: Straight

Your result indications that you are straight. Heterosexual. Attracted to the opposite sex. This probably does not come as a surprise to you. You are in the majority and your relationships will be accepted by society. Consider yourself lucky.

Are You Gay, Bi, or Straight?
15th-Dec-2006 04:07 pm - Fuckin' figures!
What type of person do you attract?
Your Result: You attract geeks!

Your stunning intellect and love of sci-fi and video games allures the geeks like nothing else. Maybe it is the sparkle in your eye that makes them want to text you, who knows. Geeks make good partners, but tend to be arguementative. If you are a TRUE geek magnet, you will know if that was spelled correctly, and actually care. If it is a bad-boy/bad-girl you are seeking, you are barking up the wrong tree, unless they are just 'bad' behind a PS2 console.

You attract rednecks!
You attract Yuppies!
You attract unstable people!
You attract artsy people!
You attract models!
What type of person do you attract?
Quizzes for MySpace
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